(Do NOT) Take Tours

This is a review of 3-Day Niagara Falls, Washington DC, Philadelphia, Watkins Glen Tour from New York. This is planned and executed by Take Tours. 

I undertook this tour with my wife. 

Itinerary is jam packed. If you are a first time traveler, you can either take photos or soak in the scene but not both. Not suitable for people travelling with young children or seniors. Definitely not advisable for differently abled. 

If your tour guide is Jane Wei, please try to get another tour guide or tour, if possible. 

If not, pray. 

Please read below to find out more. 

At Washington, we opted out of the ferry. Due to which we had an hour to ourselves. We visited the Holocaust Museum and were to return to the bus at 1615 hrs. On the way back, my wife slipped on one of the stairs and sprained her ankle. I immediately called Jane and told her we would be late by five minutes due to my wife's condition. She curtly instructed us to not to delay more than two minutes. I half-dragged my wife to reach the bus well in time. Jane saw us approaching the bus; we were waving like crazy asking her to wait till we reach the bus. 

She waved back. 

Which also means she had seen us. 

We must have been not more than twenty meters away when she boarded the bus and, despite our pleadings, drove away. 

Leaving us stranded in Washington with no knowledge of the geography. And no pedestrians to ask for directions. 

I called her again and she said, even though she could see us coming, she could not wait more. She instructed us to reach the Space Center by any means possible or the bus will drive away to Niagara and we will have to arrange our own transportation till there. 

Fortunately, we saw one pedestrian who was going in the same direction. My wife and I hobbled for a mile and a quarter in forty five minutes. Jane apologized halfheartedly for the tough time we had. I mumbled 'Thanks but no thanks'. 

Entry to Watkins Glen is free but, if you opt, you will be charge USD 10 and asked to sign an undertaking saying you are paying that amount to the travel company.You are warned. 

Though the bus stops for ten minutes every couple of hours for bathroom breaks; those ten minutes are sharply enforced. If you do not get a chance to use the john, you will have to hold it till the next stop. They do not allow usage of washroom inside the bus giving silly excuses like the whole bus will smell. 

I recommend this tour 
- if you are new to New York and the neighboring states
- if you have super strong bladder and sphincters
- if you don't mind eating Chinese for all meals
- if you understand all kinds of English accents, including a really bad Chinese one
- If you don't mind being mistreated despite paying in full
- If you don't mind wasting USD 8 per day per person as a tip to the the guide and driver

If you have any relative/friend who stays nearby, lodge with them and explore the area on your own. 

And get them gifts when you arrive/leave.

PS: I have written this review at their site too. Lets see if they have the heart to post it. 

United...we delay

It all starts when you get on any travel aggregator site, optimize the time, stopovers, arrivals, jet lag, baggage allowance etc. Then you book the tickets.

And hope.

And pray.

That the airlines fly on time.

However, if you booked United airlines, good luck to you. Hope your family supports you. Hope God or the Supreme Being or Nature or Probability is smiling on you.

We (my wife and I) flew United from BOM to SFO via EWR. And back. What we did not realize is the amount of time they will suck out of our lives.

And scar us.

For an airline running for about 90 years or so, you may be forgiven if you think they have

-          Their manpower planning and scheduling correct

-          They know the rules and regulations governing the aviation industry

-          They know how to treat their customers

-          The flight and crew knows what they are doing

-          The airline itself knows what it is doing

Congratulations!

How does it feel to be wrong on all accounts?

Here is our firsthand experience.

We were to take the BOM-EWR flight UA 49 on 01 October 2015 at 2320 IST. Guess when did we board the flight? On 02 October 2015 at 0830 hrs IST. And we finally took off at 0915 hrs on the same day.

Total delay: About 10 hrs

Why, you find your inquisitive self asking. Reasons given to us were

• The flight attendants and pilots cannot fly more than eight or twelve hours at a stretch. And BOM-EWR is a fourteen hour journey. Apparently, it was not apparent to United that fourteen is greater than eight or twelve.
• Something called a flight fatigue which is dangerous and the pilots’ and attendants’ union (existence assumed) knows it
• The plane which was to carry us to EWR had not arrived due the reasons above

Once we took off, we thought we are covered now, we will go to EWR and all will be forgotten.

Bah, you poor suckers!

Flight fatigue reared up once again and we were routed to Heathrow (LHR). A new crew boarded the plane; the current crew stretched themselves on business class.

Well, what about us?

We were told to stretch and help ourselves with juice/water and crackers kept at the end of the plane. They said they had tea/coffee too; but passengers were neither taught not allowed to operate the machines. They were also considerate enough to switch off the AC for the two hours we spent at LHR. So that we do not face the London cold. Of course we could not deplane; naah, why would London want us?

Time we lost at LHR: 2 hours.

Total time lost: 10 hours.

The new pilot apologized off-handedly in a perky voice and instructed us to be happy since we were getting extra desserts.

How cool is that?

After customs and immigration at EWR, we thought our troubles were over.

We were so naïve!

The EWR-SFO flight (UA 1735) was delayed for about two hours. Which brings the total time lost to 12 hours.

Half a day lost in airplanes and airports. One day, if you consider my wife and myself.

The SFO-EWR (UA 1796) flight was delayed due to, you know it by now; amazing manpower scheduling. This is the sequence of events, pardon my blasphemy if you can:

1. In the beginning, there was no plane
2. Then United said, “Let there be a plane” and there was
3. But United had forgotten to say “Let there be crew and attendants.” Hence there were none
4. When it remembered, United said ‘Let there be crew and attendants’. And there were.

Between steps 1 to 4, we lost three hours.

Total time lost: Fifteen hours.

The EWR-BOM (UA 48) return journey would have been amusing if it was not so irritating.

Much to our surprise, we boarded on time. We went to the runway an hour late; mere blip if you consider how much we lost so far. And, to our greater surprise, we returned to the boarding gate!

The reason: Pilot and attendants were to from a flight that was to go to Israel! And the actual crew for this flight was in the Israel flight.

Total time lost: Sixteen hours.

At the boarding gate, we were given an option to deplane. Only, please take your luggage with you. Valuable guests (that’s us, we were ingrate to have forgotten that) were getting fidgety. Cramped valuable guests starting pacing the aisle. Prompting one of the flight attendants (with dyed brown hair) to say, “I have had it with these stupid a**holes congesting the aisles.” Then she saw me, I gave her a wide smile and said, “Tu habla Español?’ To which she replied in negative. To which I replied, “I am fluent in English. And I heard what you said just now. What is your name, lady?”

She scooted without any response.

Quite cleverly, she did not have a tag. And, being the obedient passenger/guest I am, I had switched off my cellphone before the abandoned takeoff. Otherwise, I would have taken a picture/video of her saying that.  

Anyway, after another couple of hours, we had the actual crew. After another complimentary dessert and fourteen hours we landed at BOM fifteen minutes before the ETA. But we were too tired, jetlagged and disinterested to notice that. But I did ask the dyed brown hair stewardess to take a step back since she was congesting the aisle.

Total time lost: Nineteen hours.

And what do we get for all that loss?

A mail from Senior Vice President, Customers saying ‘We are sorry that your flight was delayed on your trip from Newark to Mumbai (Bombay)… We value your business and look forward to delivering a better experience the next time you fly with us.’

That’s all!

No mention of the other delayed flights. Just a boiler plate mail. No compensation offered, not even frequent flyer miles!

There will be no next time, United.