Quality time

One of my colleagues is awesome with software, not as gifted when it comes to grammar. We were sitting in the cafeteria, doing general time pass (he speaking, me listening) when Quality lead for our BU entered.

Here is something about our QA practice; Our BU stretches across six floors; every project has a Quality analyst who, reports to a Quality lead who, in turn, reports to this BU QA lead. So she is someone pretty high up; her meeting requests rattles grown project managers. At the same time, she is pretty grounded, so anyone can ask her about our QA strategy and get responses. As a part of induction, she had represented the QA practice. Despite her years, she looks ohh-so-elegant; somewhat like Maharani Gayatri Devi.

So, in she walked and this guy said, I am going to talk to her. I said on what topic. He said this and that. I said good luck. So, he walked up to her and said, “Hi, You are the quality woman. We had fun with you on the first day.” I see a big question mark on her face. My esteemed colleague, oblivious like a Doberman pup, piles her embarrassment higher, “Me and other new joiners had high quality time with you! You were blowing our minds so expertly!”

I got up as inconspicuously as possible, edged myself across the table and disappeared quickly through the open door.

And people say I am too rigid when it comes to language.

Like...what?

One of my colleague’s wife’s birthday was on a Sunday. Nothing exceptional about that. He took her to a fancy restaurant and gave her a gift. Nothing exceptional about that too. What is exceptional was the way he narrated it. His lack of vocabulary coupled with conversational trends was amusing, at the least, and exasperating, at the most.

People:  VD (my colleague who had taken his wife out for lunch), SA (a female colleague) and me

This is how it went:

VD: It is like this. I took my wife to XXXX (name of the restaurant). We at a good food. Then I gave her a gift. She was…like…what?
Me: She was surprised?
VD: No, not only surprised.  She was…like….what?

This time, his intonation of ‘what’ was slightly different. Still, SA and I were lost.

Me: She did not like it?
VD: No, she took it. But she was…like…what? (This time, again, the way he said ‘what’ was different)
Me: Was she….
SA: (interrupting) Let him tell in complete, Anant.
Me: I am trying to give a name to his wife’s frame of mind, that’s what I am doing, SA. Have you understood how she was feeling?
VD: I like that. So, she was like ….what…why now?
Me: (venturing into what could be a minefield) So, she was doubting your intentions?
VD: You are my friend. She was doubting but also surprised. What is that word in English?
Me: Suspicious?
VD: There you go. I told you, she was ….like …..what?

Things I learnt out of this conversation:

1.       Doubting and surprise adds up to suspicion
2.       I should not interrupt people. In other words, I should let them ‘say in complete’
3.       The simple word ‘what’ has come to signify a lot of feelings while I was under a rock
4.       Point no. 3 is true only when the ‘what’ is preceded by a ‘like’